Baywatch, the TV show, is probably best remembered with a "how did this thing ever exist" kind of attitude. Certainly, no one is going to expect a film version to be terribly faithful to a show that ultimately was more about Playmates running in slow-motion than it was for plot or characters. With a charismatic cast assigned to it Baywatch, the movie, looked like it had the best chance of being the next 21 Jump Street. So what the hell happened?
Director Seth Gordon and his team of writers make a huge miscalculation in their approach and make an oddly sincere film about lifeguards acting as police. The film is rarely self aware of its own preposterous premise. A running joke involving a cop who keeps commenting on the fact that they are all lifeguards is about as meta as the film gets. The film genuinely wants to elicits thrills and emotions rather than just pure laughs.
Films that reboot old televisions shows can work, take the 21 Jump Street films or Starsky & Hutch as examples. In those films, however, everyone seems to understand that these properties were ridiculous to begin with and the best way to approach rebooting them is to double-down on the silliness and self-effacement. Baywatch never seems to want to commit to making fun of its source material and therefore ends up unfunny, routine, and dull.
The film follow hotshot, ex-Olympian Matt Brody (Zac Efron) as he gets assigned to Lt. Mitch Buchannon's (Dwayne Johnson) team. Of course, these two do not hit it off and much of the movie is spent focused on if they will form a bromance or not. The rest of the team is made up of love interest Summer (Alexandria Daddario), bumbling Ronnie (Jon Bass), girl-next-door CJ (Kelly Rohrbach) and the fierce (Illfenesh Hadera). They team up to protect the bay from real estate developer (Priyanka Chopra) who is bringing murder and drugs into the bay.
The film, in different hands, could have formed this likable cast into a surprise hit. All the elements seem to be in place. However, at some point, Baywatch decides to commit to being a high-end version of an episode of Baywatch rather than a knowing comedy based on the silly TV show. There is an onslaught of dick jokes and ball busting that never hits a stride. The film seems to know it has run out of ideas every time it asks Efron to prance around without his shirt off or in one terribly unfunny scene, to dress as a woman.
The biggest crime here is how it utilizes Johnson's talents. Here is an actor who has proven himself as a comedic actor, whether on SNL or in a film like Central Intelligence. He exudes a certain enthusiasm and energy in Baywatch but the filmmakers don't know how to make him funny. The pairing with Efron is dicy as best and the two never develop a good team dynamic.
The female cast is largely given nothing to do but to look good in very little. The side players which include the very funny Hannibal Buress and Rob Huebel are wasted as well. Why cast a comedian to play a character who just serves to give exposition?
Baywatch is full of potential that is all wasted. The choice to hold the original TV show as some sort of model ends up costing the film all of its potential laughs. Taking a not-beloved TV show and making it into a movie should free you from having to pay homage to the original and should allow for a self-aware, mocking tone. Somehow Baywatch was proven to be too sacred to be be mocked.
1/5
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